I found this great recipe but realized I had little of the ingredients needed to make it-sooooo I had a scavenger hunt and pulled this little beauty together. It worked- sort of!
They say that you change constantly- forever changing, every second. You are not the same person you were yesterday and you will change yet again tomorrow. I love this. Often times I feel like nothing will ever change-I reference who I used to be; a personality trait, a belief, an action, and I feel it holding me back at times-dictating who I am in this moment. But it’s all false. I do not have to react the same today as I did yesterday. I have to remember this when it comes to others as well. I sometimes feel like I know how my husband will respond to certain instances because of past experiences-this can be binding and dangerous and toxic. Truth is-I don’t know how things will go down, turn out, come to be. I can just let them happen and be a part of what comes my way. This,my friends, is freedom. Try it next time…you might be pleasantly surprised.
“When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”
“Be a hero, not a villain”. This has become my motto. My kids lately have really been into the superhero thing-my kids are little so what they know of superheroes comes from books, costumes, shirts with attached capes and us parents explaining all the different superhero powers that comes with each, hero. They are fascinated, just riveted by these superhuman beings that do good and save the world from destruction and villains. It got me thinking though-there are real life superheroes and real life villains all around us in this world and it seems, especially lately, that each side is emerging more than ever. I thought it only right to explain to my doe eyed little ones that the superheroes in books and comics are pretty fun but the real life heroes are where it’s at; firefighters, police officers, good Samaritans, nurses, mothers, doctors, teachers…the list goes on and on. And I find myself frustrated and saddened by the real life villains, ever so present in this world-in my naive manner I want to calmly tell the them, “Be a hero… not a villain”. If only it could be that simple. But I feel like perhaps this simple little saying will stick with my kids-and when faced with the choice between good and evil, in whichever form, they will remember my words; “Be a hero, not a villain”.
Everything feels wrong… I have been saying this lately and not quite sure what it means. Not sure what feels wrong or how or with whom…but it does. Saying this blanket statement out loud somehow makes it feel less wrong. My father-in-law died last weekend and I’m sure that is a big part of this wrong feeling. He has been sick most of his life ,being dealt the hand of juvenile diabetes. It ravished his body in almost every way and yet he lived far beyond the years the doctors initially gave him back when he was young. As of late he has been in and out of the hospital with one thing or another but always bouncing back as best he could, keeping, as always, a jovial and positive outlook on things.
He got to meet his third grandchild before he passed-our daughter was born the day he took the fall that would eventually take him to Heaven. A bittersweet time. A surreal time. A time filled with many emotions. He will be missed.
Plans are a funny thing. I feel like when you most try and plan is when those plans get completely obliterated(I love that word). We have been renovating our attic-something that had to be kicked into high gear once we found out I was pregnant with number 3. It is almost done but there is lots yet to finish-also the baby will be here on Friday. It’s ok that the attic is not quite finished-we will manage but of course there is a certain amount of stress resting on everyone’s shoulders and we all deal with it in different ways. My husband, who is a bit of a perfectionist, had a plan for these past few days to work in the attic as much as possible. Well… God had other plans. He got a pretty bad cold and had to rest most of yesterday, which in the long run is much better so he can actually get healthy to work today. Well, then my father in law was visiting and had a few health issues and had to be taken to the ER by my husband where I’m sure they will spend most of the day. I believe it is God’s way of saying, hang on here, you are not in control and you need to let go a little bit. Health and family are far more important than walls and paint so slow down and take care of what needs to be taken care of.
I’m struggling. The kids are a handful right now and I’m feelin’ it. Being a mom is tough because when you get frustrated you are getting frustrated with the little beings that mean the most to you. You are constantly being shown in a mirror the monster that you can become. Every word out of your mouth, every gesture, every activity that you either joyfully occupy or otherwise do begrudgingly is under a microscope-I’m either swimming or sinking and it can change from second to second. I haven’t felt good good in a long time and for that I feel scared and guilty.