Taking Back My Day

I love my children dearly and would be devastated if I didn’t get to be a stay at home mom.  That being said, I have to take back my days.  Somewhere along the line I have made each and every day only about them.  Every minute, every breath, every word is directed towards them and honestly it’s swallowing me up.  This may sound harsh but I hope you can take a step back and understand what it is I’m saying.  It’s not healthy for them or myself to get totally and completely lost.  I want them to learn from me and see me as a vital person with interests and strengths of my own.  I want that mom to be their role model.  And in doing so I can become a person again, not solely a mom.  This is going to be an adjustment.  I’m use to how things are and so are they.  I need to slowly un-suction cup myself from them so that I, not only can take a breath, but they can as well.  I don’t know where I became this motherly suction cup as I like to call it.  I think it started with this strange guilt thing.  We, I feel, have too much information in the parenting department and because of this we can get sucked into this vortex of guilt over every decision made.  Bottom line, I am a good mother, my kids have a lovely life and I need to honor that and not sweat the small stuff.

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